Image from poundingheartbeat.com
I bet you were wondering what happened to #5. Yeah, me too.
I didn’t ask anyone how they communicate with friends & family, so I could call “FAIL” on #5. But you know me… I refuse. Once I really started thinking about talking to people, I started running into all sorts of new ideas.
I thought about how I like to communicate best & what I want to tell people. I also thought a lot about what I wanted to get out of my communications with the ones I love. I want to feel close to them. I don’t want to be left out of or miss big (or small) life events, which happens when you are spread all over the globe. I want to support the people I love & show them I care about them. I want to know what they think & use their thoughts, opinions, and knowledge to help me make decisions or incorporate new, cool things into my life. I want to be there for them. I want to be a part of their lives & have them be a part of mine.
I know that the phone is not the best option for me. A lot of people prefer to chat with loved ones on their commute. My commute is a 3/4 mile walk & I need to be aware of my surroundings, so talking on the phone is a no-go. However, I have gotten better about tidying up around the house & chatting on the phone. If I need to take the sheets off the bed or wipe down the bathroom mirrors, why not hear all about how someone else’s day is going at the same time?
Email is my preferred form of communication. I am much more eloquent & open as a writer than a speaker, and asynchonous communication works in my favor because I can think about my words & respond in the bits of free time that spring up during the day.
With this in mind, a few things started percolating. My brother-in-law sent me a great Mark Bittman recipe, and I shared it with my dinner co-op (more on the dinner co-op later). I shared my love of all foods smittenkitchen with the BIL, & was thrilled that he enjoyed it as much as I do. My love of Deb has finally found the right Persing!
I asked for help. As one small example, I am in the process of getting comfortable in myself & updating my wardrobe (& my life) to reflect me now & the me I want to be. I emailed quite a few ladies about what their favorite wardrobe items are & what I should not even consider living without. Their responses have been as varied and interesting as they are, and their support has been unequivocal. Plus, their advice is invaluable & much faster than me trying to figure out how to dress myself on my own.
I read an article on one woman’s month living The Love Experiment & on asking the question, “Please tell me how I can love you better.” While I haven’t asked anyone but my husband, I think about it often.
I started telling people about this blog, since better communication is one of the primary goals here. I know it’s weird to not tell people, but I felt weird about what would happen after I told them. I don’t know what I thought the worst case scenario was, but it stopped me from telling people that they should swing by & take a peek at my new secret side project. I overcame the weirdness…kind of…. and nothing bad happened. phew.
In fact, good things started happening. People started reaching out to me. My two-way street got a lot bigger, wider, more open, & there is now a lot more traffic. And isn’t that the whole point?